The Husbands Role as Head

The Husbands Role as Head in the Family
Inspired through Meditation in God's Word
All scripture is from the King James Version

Accountability of Spouses
I. That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the Word. Ephesians 5:26
II. Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. Ephesians 5:22
1. In Eph. 5:23 – 24 For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. 24 Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.

2. What is explained in I & II & sub 1 is that the husband is accountable to God for the welfare of his family in every thing. Thus the wife is held in accountability to the husband for her actions. When necessary the husband is supposed to lovingly chastise the wife in a spiritual sense with God's word, hence Eph. 5:26 comes into play.

3. 1 Timothy 2:11 - 12 Biblically the husband being well versed in the Word should be able to communicate the oracles of God's Word to his wife and family with out fear of disrespect or malice. The wife should not usurp authority over the husband in any situation. Once a woman has in mutual matrimony made a covenant with a man, whether she be alone or with children the biblical standard is the same. If the man is being disrespected by the children and the wife sides with the children it is disobedience to God. She needs to use the wisdom that is available through prayer and God's Word and the many other resources available to bring to her husband the information that she feels is important in issues with the raising of the children.

In 1 Tim. 2:13,14 it says: For Adam was first formed, then Eve. 14 And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived was in the transgression.

1 Cor. 11:8,9 says: For the man is not of the woman; but the woman of the man. 9 Neither was the man created for the woman; but the woman for the man. Romans 7:2 says: For the woman which hath an husband is bound by the law of her husband so long as he liveth; but if her husband be dead, she is loosed from the law of her husband.

Romans 7:39 repeats this by saying: The wife is bound by the law as long as her husband liveth; but if her husband be dead, she is at liberty to be married to whom she will; only in the Lord.

4. This is the point where it is the husband's duty to reverence his wife's feelings and submit to her physical and spiritual needs and they together should seek God's will. If a wife does not go this route and falls into condemnation from the husband for denigrating him in front of the children and in such cases causes the children to be provoked, be more angry, be less forgiving and in essence drives an ungodly wedge between the head of the house and the family, then this is not biblical.

A. Now, at this point a lot of defensive thoughts would be to chastise the husband by saying you need to give reverence to your wife as unto the weaker vessel. 1 Peter 3:7.

1. Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.

This is fine, but if your wife is not acting as the weaker vessel and is usurping authority and dragging your role as father, provider, and pastor down into the mud in front of the children, it says in Prov. 19:13 A foolish son is the calamity of his father: and the contentions of a wife are a continual dropping.

Calamity means an event that brings terrible loss, lasting distress, or severe affliction; a disaster. 2. Dire distress do to loss or tragedy

Prov. 27:15 says: A continual dropping in a very rainy day and a contentious woman are alike.

Prov. 21:19 says: It is better to dwell in the wilderness, than with a contentious and an angry woman.
Prov. 21:9 says: It is better to dwell in a corner of the house top, than with a brawling woman in a wide house.
Prov. 25:24 It is better to dwell in the corner of the house top, than with a brawling woman and in a wide house.

Solomon certainly knew what he was talking about!

3. So when Prov. 9:13 says: A foolish woman is clamorous: she is simple and knoweth nothing.Clamorous is defined as talking loudly and continuously; noisy; vociferous; loud; turbulent. 2. Loudly demanding or complaining.

Prov. 11:22 As a jewel of gold in a swine's snout, so is a fair woman without discretion.
Prov. 11:16 A gracious woman retaineth honour:
Prov. 12:4 says: A virtuous woman is a crown to her husband: but she that maketh ashamed is as rottenness in his bones.
Prov. 14:1 says: Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands.

4. If we examine a little closer the context of which 1 Peter 3:7 – 14 are given in, the latter verses apply to both husband and wife. 1 Pet. 3:8 Finally, be ye all of one mind, having compassion one of another, love as brethren, be pitiful, be courteous:

This is to say 'of one mind' is the 'mind of Christ,' and the rest is self explanatory. Therefore, if the relationship is kept within the Word of God, (biblical guidelines) the woman should not have to worry about being honored as the weaker vessel because she will have stayed in compliance with God's Word.

B. Now as to the responsibility of the husband, he has the greater burden of them all because although the husband may strike fear into the hearts of his family, even though he can kill the body (but with severe consequences) he can not kill the soul! He can quench their spirits, but God can restore and maintain their spirits even in the midst of tribulation. However, the Lord God Almighty is who the husband has to answer to ultimately and he can kill the body and the soul! Paul told us in Romans 7:1 Know ye not, brethren, (for I speak to them that know the law,) how that the law hath dominion over a man as long as he liveth?

C. Back to Ephesians 5:25 Husbands, love your wives, even as also Christ loved the church, and gave himself for it; 26 That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word. If us husbands will give ourselves for our wives then we must be in the Word daily praying for wisdom and know what the scriptures say so we can edify God in our role as leader in our family. If there is an in-balance in this area, Satan will challenge us by rebellion of our own spouse.

1. Ephesians 5:28 – 33 So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. 29 For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church: 30 For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones. 31 For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall become one flesh. 32 This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church. 33 Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and see that she reverence her husband.

2. Reverence is defined as: A feeling of profound awe and respect and often love; veneration. 2. an act showing respect, esp. a bow or courtesy. Dr. Emerson Eggerich in his book, Love and Respect, subtitled 'The Love She Most Desires, The Respect He Desperately Needs' expounds on the complexities of this matrimonial relationship.

3. No where in God's word does it say that a husband looses his authority, or is over ruled in his duties in the family if he falls short of the desired behavior according to his wife's expectations. Ultimately God holds the man accountable in the family for everything and every responsibility mentioned above.

1Cor. 7:27 says: Art thou bound unto a wife? Seek not to be loosed. Art thou loosed from a wife? Seek not a wife.

III. Reconciliation of the marriage union
A. 2 Cor. 5:17 Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new. 18 And all things are of God, who hath reconciled us to himself by Jesus Christ, and hath given to us the ministry of reconciliation; 19 To wit, that God was in Christ, reconciling the world unto himself, not imputing their trespasses unto them; and hath committed unto us the word of reconciliation. 20 Now then we are ambassadors for Christ, as though God did beseech you by us: we pray you in Christ's steed, be ye reconciled to God.

1. Reconciliation: the act of reconciling 2. the condition of being reconciled
2. Since we are one body and one in Christ, we ought for God's sake to be reconciled in Christ and in our marriage through Christ Spirit. Not allowing the world to impute unto us the accusations of sin or not being a Christian because we can't even get along.

B. If in 1 Peter 3:1-14 Which starts out by saying: Likewise ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives; 2 While they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear….. 4 But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God a great price.

1. Chaste means: morally pure in thought or conduct; decent and modest vs. 5 speaks of the women of old time who trusted God, being in subjection to their own husbands…
2. vs. 6 Sarah obeyed Abraham calling him lord.
3. vs. 7 says: Likewise, ye husbands dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel… showing that if our wives are acting with meekness and trusting in God, we as husbands will recognize this and act accordingly.
4. Lastly vs. 8 says: Finally, be ye all of one mind, having compassion one of another, love as brethren, be pitiful, be courteous: 9 Not rendering evil for evil or railing for railing: but contrariwise blessing… 10 For he that will love life, and see good days, let him refrain his tongue from evil, and his lips that they speak no guile:

In Conclusion:

The husband has the most at stake in how he exercises his role in the position of the Head of the family and can easily fall short of the expectations that are levied upon him by God. It is the wife's role in adjudicating the husbands relationship and position in the family with the children. If the husband falls short of his office and the wife is not attentive to her duties as well, then the rest of the family will be in rebellion.
Works Cited
The Authorized King James Bible London: Eyre and Spottiswoode Limited
New York: Harper & Brothers Publishers

Love and Respect: Dr. Emerson Eggerichs: Integrity Publishers © 2004

My hope for you is that you have had a prayer of salvation,
and if you haven't and you want to ask Christ into your heart and life, then I offer these words for you to repeat,
but only if your heart is sincere, because God knows it if you're not.

Dear God, I now know I have needed you and have
rejected your calling, so today, right now, 
I ask Jesus Christ to come into my heart and my life, 
and forgive me from all past sin and Lord cleanse me 
from my unrighteousness. I believe that Jesus was 
crucified for my sin, died, and was buried and rose again from
the dead according to the scriptures. I want you forever more
to be my guide and I want to follow you as a believer. 
I ask for your strength to change my heart and 
my earthly ways so that I can become a better 
child in your kingdom. Show me how to depend 
on you in all things. And show me how to do 
your will in my life. I thank you and pray this 
prayer in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen!

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April 19th, 2009